Kate Middleton’s ‘Feelings,’ and More Royal Baby News

With Kate Middleton about to give birth any day now (but please, please not tomorrow, because that would ruin our barbecue plans), the media is publishing literally anything they can come up with about the royal fetus. Meanwhile, journalists have set up camp on the sidewalk outside St. Mary’s Hospital, where Kate is to give birth in the private Lindo Wing. Read on for more scintillating tidbits about organic baby food and other creepy gifts from weird fans.

1. The hospital scene
In order to preserve order outside the hospital (you know, should an ambulance need to drive through), a press pen complete with risers has been set up in the parking lot. Crowds of photographers are already there, so the world will know as soon as Kate arrives.

Uncomfortable-looking press pen at the hospital.

2. Kate's status
Us Weekly has a lengthy report from an unnamed source full of generic quotes about how "great" Kate's feeling. A selection: "She's full of energy and really rather used to the bump ... Naturally she is a little nervous about the big day, what new mum wouldn't be?" Also: "She's still busy, making sure she's done as much as possible for the new house before the baby is born." And finally: "She's healthy, the baby is healthy." So not revelatory, but still nice to know.

3. The weird gifts
Artist Kaya Mar, who has previously satirized political subjects like Chancellor George Osborne in his paintings, has been loitering around the hospital with a large portrait of Kate Middleton as the Virgin Mary, complete with a halo, a suckling infant wearing a crown, and a Corgi at her feet. It's pretty weird, but at least it's more interesting than her royal portrait.

4. The less-weird gifts
While Prince Charles and Duchess Camilla were making a public appearance in Wales, representatives from the food manufacturer Plum presented them with an enormous basket of organic baby food. They were one-upped by the Finnish government, who sent a cardboard box containing baby clothes, nail clippers, cloth diapers, a hairbrush, a teething ring, and — for the Duke and Duchess — bra pads and condoms. Bonus: The box doubles as a crib in a pinch, according to the Daily Mail. How thoughtful!

5. The due date
Still July 11, says Us Weekly, but that's a silly assumption, since she plans to give birth naturally so it could come anytime now.

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See Artist Alison Jackson's Imagined Portraits of Prince William, Kate Middleton, and the Royal Baby

“I chase people down the street and go up to people in restaurants,” says the London artist Alison Jackson about her endless search for perfect celebrity look-alikes. “And every agency possible, and Facebook and Twitter, and Skype castings.” Since her series Doubletake aired on BBC Two in 2002 and then won a BAFTA, Jackson has become well known in the U.K. for these faux ­tableaux, involving familiar faces of every kind: sports, Hollywood, Angela Merkel. (New York readers may remember her paparazzi-style “first photos!” of Brad and Angelina’s baby in 2006.) She’s exhibited at SFMoMA and the Centre Pompidou, as well as at New York’s International Center of Photography.

Jackson’s work gets right at the nub of our imagined relationship with celebrities: We project surprisingly complex lives onto people we don’t actually know. (You may well come away from these photos considering whether Queen Elizabeth would carry an iPhone.) This series, of course, carries the added frisson of being about a clan that—unlike, say, the Kardashians—would never allow such images to exist. They feel forbidden, illicit, even though the scenes are basically affectionate toward William and Kate and their family. That’s a point Jackson hastens to make: “I’m not going to do anything horrible,” she says. “I don’t really like using ridicule as a form of humor.” The fun, and the effectiveness, comes in the just-at-the-edge-of-plausibility details: the queen with her Times crossword, the prince’s pocket square incongruous over a fresh diaper. Speaking of which: Jackson hedged her bet on the gender of Not Baby Windsor. “I couldn’t tell while I was shooting,” she jokes, adding that she cast an infant who could pass for either a boy or a girl.

*This article originally appeared in the July 8, 2013 issue of New York Magazine.           

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Kate Middleton’s Pram, and All the Other Royal Baby Rumors You Ever Wanted to Know

Kate Middleton's baby is almost here — her due date is in July — and now that she's holed up at her parents' house for the remainder of her pregnancy, the media has nothing to do but concoct rumors about her impending motherhood. We've rounded up all the information floating around the Internet, both factual and speculative, to quench your royal baby thirst. Read on for Kate's nursery color scheme, the name rumors, her birth plan, and all the other stuff you desperately need to know.

1. The Nursery
Kate is preparing two nurseries: one at her and Will's newly renovated apartment at Kensington Palace, and one at her parents' house in Bucklebury, where she'll reportedly stay for a few months after she gives birth (after his two weeks of paternity leave, William will return to his RAF duties). Her color scheme of choice apparently revolves around "herringbone brown," according to ABC News, which could be convenient for diaper accidents. She has supposedly purchased a $450 Moses basket as well as a Bugaboo Cameleon3 special edition stroller in jewel blue with black and white stripes. (Fun fact: Kate Hudson and Sienna Miller have the same stroller in different colors.) Last week, she was seen shopping for antiques near her parents house.

2. The Birth
There are conflicting reports about the due date, which is said to fall sometime between July 11 and 14. According to a detailed press release from St. James Palace, Kate intends to give birth naturally in a private wing of St. Mary's Hospital. She'll be attended to by her two gynecologists, and William will be present. Once the baby is born and all "senior" members of the royal family have been notified, the palace will announce the birth by putting a piece of paper on an easel out front that states the baby's gender, weight, and time of birth. They'll also tweet the news.

3. The Name
Kate and Will have chosen not to learn the baby's gender before its birth, and they've actually done a pretty good job of keeping it a secret. However, bookies have been taking bets on prospective names, and the current front-runner is Alexandra, one of the queen's several middle names, and also the name of William's godmother. The top boy name is George, which was the name of the Queen's dad as well as six previous British kings. Others in the running: Charlotte, which is Pippa's middle name (and the best name EVER, obviously), Philip, which is William's grandfather's name, and Elizabeth.

4. The Gifts
The Prime Minister of Australia knit the baby a little kangaroo stuffed animal, while Kate's uncle, Gary Goldsmith, told the Sun he plans to get the baby a tiny Chelsea football uniform.

5. Her Frame of Mind
Kate is "really enjoying her final weeks of pregnancy" and "finds pregnancy fascinating," according Us Weekly's unnamed source.

6. Other Random Tidbits
It's unclear whether Kate plans to breastfeed, but one woman wrote an impassioned op-ed for the Telegraph begging her to do so for "the good of the nation." The Duchess has also been taking cooking classes from the royal housekeeper, Antonella Fresolone.

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The Craziest Hats & Fascinators From Royal Ascot

The five-day horse racing event in Berkshire, England will reach its end tomorrow in a finale that will likely double as a mass display of the most extravagant head toppers known to man. So far, Royal Ascot 2013 has surely satisfied every hat lover's (and milliner's) wildest, craziest dreams. Members of the royal family showed up in endearing outfits reminiscent of Easter eggs while certain commoners made sure to steal the spotlight. The previously unnamed lady at Cannes (now known as Larisa Katz) who wore a gown made out of biscuit trays upped her game, wearing a translucent hat made of what looks like gold tin can lids. Others outdid Katz, including a woman named Tracy Rose, who donned a structure that she needed to stabilize with two hands. Click through the slides to see the most extravagant (fanciest and campiest) hats so far. And a belated hats off to Queen Elizabeth II and her horse for winning the Gold Cup. We're sure it'll look good in Buckingham Palace.

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