Apply to be a Listening Intern for 'The Onion'

By Neha Prakash2013-05-09 20:21:11 UTC

Unemployed and feeling demotivated in the job hunt? Lucky for you, The Onion is hiring for some pretty competitive and exciting new positions.

The latest listing is for a "listening intern" who is willing to lend a ear to the geniuses within the company. It seems appropriately challenging — duties include "nodding," "smiling" and "remaining silent" when Onion employees need to be comforted about their "plethora of mental issues and life regrets."

If you fit the criteria shown below, we strongly advise you to apply now, as this one-day, unpaid position will surely be filled fast. But make sure you fit their unique qualifications, like having a "meek obedient demeanor." (Insider tip: If you have "caring eyes that sparkle with an inner light," you're a shoe-in.)

We wish you all the luck in this endeavor. Try to get some solid references before interviewing — perhaps that annoying friend who always harps to you on the phone for hours about her failing weight loss regime?

Image via iStockphoto, Lepro.

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